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Not there…

Flew all the way up the mountain with my scarf full of hope, trust and dreams,
Only to find out that sometimes things are not as it seems.
I’ve moved on, got a white coat and found a new life,
On the bottom of the next mountain, where my own dreams started to thrive.
I have dreams to remember and dreams to forget.
My expectations where too high, but I have no regret.
With the love and support of my friends and family,
I can now start a life that revolves around me…

Honesty

A great and powerful thing. It can change so many things. My aim is to be honest to everyone, but apparently it can break friendships and put you in positions you never thought you’d be in.

Therefor I decided to stay honest for the rest of my life, because if you cannot be honest about your own, or other people’s lives, this powerful thing can break you and others.

If friends walk out because you’ve been honest, don’t worry and let them go. You cannot keep up the lies of everyone around you. If someone has not been honest with you, let them go as well, they don’t deserve you!

Can I be trusted? Sure! As long as it’s about the truth… Ask me to lie and I will fail you… Honestly!

levels 3 through 7… I have only 18 days of my journey left. For those who don’t know; I’m following my dreams and a really special person to share those dreams with. We will be reunited on the 4th of April after spending a total of 8 months minus 1 day apart from each other. We will chase our dreams together and I’m really looking forward to see him again and being together in the same place. Today was my last working day and I felt a bit strange, no more work for me, that means a lot! Let the adventures begin!

Milestones…

All special days that we were going to spend apart (my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and stupid valentines day) are done. I know, I make the weirdest milestones for myself but they help!
I’m feeling more aware that I’m really doing this more and more each day and it’s so satisfying for me. I mean, I’ve never had a goal like this and it’s so easy for me to do it. Of course it’s not easy to leave everything and everyone behind but I’m not at that point yet so I don’t feel the difficulty now.
At this point in my life I’m just proud and happy. Proud about my view of life after all that I’ve been through and happy that I am still able to take risks and go for a person 1000%. Even though he hasn’t been around me these past 6,5 months I feel as if our bond is stronger and I can’t wait to see him….

Climbing away from the dark, into the light of day, focussed on the goal and no obstacles in my way
Conquering the doubts, shedding my fears, for I will go and travel for years
I found strength in letting go, stop the struggle and let the time just flow
Saying goodbyes, and keeping in mind, all that I will leave behind…
Suzanne Sparreboom 01-2014

BAM!!

Wow!! 2,5 months to go… Isn’t this just awesome?! I can almost start counting single digit weeks! I can’t believe that I’m withstanding all this time apart from someone so special and still feel the connection like he left one week ago…. I have some last stuff to arrange but it’s nothing compared to what I’ve done so far and I’m proud of myself. Proud to find myself being able of changing my life so drastically and be comfortable with the idea. 2 years ago I had a rough time and finding myself in this position with this big challenge in front if me is something that I never could’ve expected. Especially finding such a great person was definitely not one of my expectations!!!!
Making my way through time to be with him is making me so strong and aware of my abilities and I’m happy to be me!!!

Slowing down…

Maybe it’s just this week or the fact that I really can’t sleep anymore in the night time, but I suddenly have the feeling that time is slowing down… I’m planning now to go 2 weeks earlier so that means I will depart the 17th of march, but I’m not sure yet of course… It depends on the airline,if they let me change the ticket and the sponsorship visa which I will need for this. And of course the financial aspect. Tonight I will have dinner with a good friend and that will be the last night out for me until my goodbye party. I want to save every penny now because I deserve to go earlier! I miss him so much that I sometimes feel empty and lonely while I have fantastic people around me! I have to get myself re-focused again and get my act together if I want to make this happen, so… Work hard, spend nothing and go for it!!!

Level 4

Time is actually starting to fly now… Yesterday I had a conversation with my boyfriend about moving there even one month earlier than planned, but when I think about it, I don’t even know if it will be possible. There is not much to arrange anymore, I did the most things already, but having either 8 weeks or 12 weeks to finish the last things is such a big difference. I will try but I cannot promise anything, also not to myself so we will see… Getting really excited now!!! :D TicK, TacK

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